There were four of us that night,
laughing beneath the low light,
with endless chats, and hearts that felt so light.

We travelled through the quiet roads,
shared emotions, dreams, and smiles
for a little while, life felt exactly as it should.

For ten years, I had been simply me,
holding back emotions,
keeping certain feelings carefully hidden,
best left as secrets within the heart.

But that night, the walls came down.
The boundaries we had built so quietly broke,
and words we had missed for years
finally found their way into the open.

But when the happiness fades into the night,
a strange thought finds its way to me
Can something this beautiful really stay?
And suddenly, I’m afraid of tomorrow.

Because when the night grows still,
and I close my eyes,
the tears quietly arrive
not because I am unhappy,
but because I was too happy,
and I’m scared of losing it.

I found a happiness
I thought I had forgotten
a simple drink, a simple moment,
with my favourite persons beside me.

There were four of us that night

But watching you completely free,
somehow brought back
the old brother-sister bond.

For the first time,
I saw you truly let go,
laughing, smiling,
lost in the moment,

There is something beautiful
about being with people of our colour,
people who understand without explaining,
who laugh the same way,
feel the same way,
and make you feel
that you truly belong.

For a little while,
I wasn’t thinking about tomorrow,
or yesterday,
or all the things life makes us carry.

I was simply happy.

However,

I told myself,
I won’t get attached anymore.
I won’t let people know the softest corners of me.

I won’t let them know
that I cried because of them,
that their words mattered,
that their absence could hurt.
No more explaining,
no more unnecessary drama
just silence, distance, and peace.

I thought I had learned
how to keep my emotions under control.

I keep saying,
“I don’t want anyone to get attached to me.”
Yet perhaps,
without realizing it,
I have become someone
others quietly hold close.

Please don’t be too good to me,
because I know myself too well.

A little kindness,
a little care,
a little warmth—
and somewhere between those moments,
I might start feeling again.

I don’t want that.

So keep a little distance from me.
Not because I dislike you,
but because I remember
the person I was ten years ago
the one who cared too much,
thought too much,
and held you close in his heart
too much.

I don’t want to become
that person again.

I have spent years
teaching myself not to get attached,
not to expect,
not to read too much
into someone’s kindness.

Because I know where it leads—
I start thinking about you,
worrying about you,
missing you,
and quietly giving you
a place in my heart.

So please,
don’t make it easy for me
to become emotionally attached.

It isn’t anger.
It isn’t hatred.
It isn’t drama.

It’s just me
trying to protect a heart
that remembers too much.

Because sometimes,
the hardest thing isn’t
letting someone go

it’s stopping yourself
from being expecting too much in return to our emotions.

Belief in God grows quietly,
Hands fold more often.
Hope finds a slower rhythm,
And the heart listens longer.

Astrology becomes interesting,
Stars feel closer than before.
Zodiac predictions make the day,
Softening restless thoughts.

Sleepiness stays all day long,
Morning, afternoon, evening too.
Even sitting and working in Excel
Feels like hard work.

Diet plans are made seriously,
Healthy food lists are written.
Then cravings appear suddenly,
And snacks win easily.

Plans form to be productive,
Big goals sound very nice.
Five minutes later somehow
Scrolling YouTube Shorts feels right.

Salary comes once a month,
Happiness lasts a short while.
Then comes staring at the account balance,
Thinking deeply about life.

Weekends mean rest and sleep,
Going out feels optional.
Loud music feels too loud now,

To a 2 months embryo, who never saw this world

The world is so cruel
Because my parents decided not to have you,
And they never asked me a consent too.
Doctors frightened them saying that you may have any disability
But your absence made me to live my whole life with disability

The world is so lonely
Because I have played all my childhood games, alone
I played both white & black in the game of chess
And I played with the walls, with no one to bowl
And there was no one to rub my shoulder, when someone starts a fight.

The world is so untrusted
Because I didn’t have you to share all my secrets
And you weren’t there to share with me all you possess
And also I would have saved you from a fight & not let anyone to stalk you at night

The world is so fake
Because I have begged many people to fill your place
And My feel is always irrelevant to them
Since they aren’t born alone like I did.
And I never knew that a brother like / sister like relationships are always like and not the real.

This world is so selfish
Because everybody has some priorities
And I was always kicked out from others priority list
And They pretend to be you,
But they let me down every time for selfish reasons

The world is so busy
No one has the time to look back at me
But the reality is nobody is busy,
Depends on what number you are on their  priority list

The world is so unique
Because every person has their own feel
We can’t compell someone to show back the same you showed them
And It took me many years to stop finding a replacement to you, because you are irreplaceable.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton